Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
