Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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