Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
