Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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