I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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