Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
