if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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