I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
