Pappa wants mamma naked
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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