Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
