Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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