There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
