So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
