hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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