Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need moral support for this bender
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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