So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
