dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
