we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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