that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
