I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
