ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He kissed a someone with a penis
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
