I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
