I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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