K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
