If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i think my cat just said my name.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
