ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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