the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
