So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
