I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Bring me that man meat
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
