haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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