she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
