to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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