Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
