Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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