At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
