You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
