i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
