i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
