I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
