Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
