all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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