I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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