yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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