My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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