Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
