It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
