I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
