Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
