i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
