Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
